


Zer0 Inhibitions

by HoneyGrunge



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Come, Alien Sex, Armor Kink, Choking, Comedy, Enthusiastic Consent, Exophilia, Masks, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Other, Oviposition, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Purring, References to Drugs, Rough Sex, Sex on Furniture, Sexual Coercion, Smut, So much come, Spanking, Tentacle Dick, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, Xeno, mask kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-10-03 11:45:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17283461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyGrunge/pseuds/HoneyGrunge
Summary: IMPORTANT UPDATE: Is revised to they pronouns for Zer0, see notes at the beginnings of the chapters for more info!Your compound has been broken into by a deadly mercenary, who steals your merchandise. But fortunately for you, Zer0 is in the mood for something other than death...Oviposition is only in the second chapter.>1st chapter is from the perspective of someone with a vagina and breasts>2nd chapter applies to any anatomy





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter has been renovated to include they/them pronouns for Zer0.
> 
> I originally used he/him because I wrote the first part a while ago and was still getting familiar with the fandom. I just slapped he on there because I was going off of the game itself and what the characters refer to Zer0 as.
> 
> But.
> 
> I have only just discovered that apparently Gearbox tweeted confirmation years ago that Zer0 is nb and uses they/them, although they haven't reflected that in the games. And I liked that Zer0 may not adhere to a certain gender identity so I changed some stuff around.

You groan groggily and sit up, staring at your surroundings in confusion. What the fuck had happened? You stand wobbily and trip over stone rubble, blinking blearily. Oh yeah...you'd been sorting the goods for Johnny, your employer. Bags of blue label heroin to be sent via private mules to Hyperion.

"Shit," you hiss, remembering the explosion and rubbing your bloody right temple gingerly. The wall had just exploded out of nowhere; you must've been hit in the head by some of the rubble.

You're jolted out of your thoughts by the faint sound of rustling, whirling around as a slim black figure leaps down from one of the storage shelves and lands lightly in front of you. A red holographic heart emoticon is floating above its masked face, and none of its skin is visible. It crouches low, swinging a glinting blue sword that halts mere inches from your face.  
You shriek and stumble backwards, tripping over a brick as you fall. 

"Hello common wench," a masculine voice greets cheerfully. You frown at the insult...yet can't help but laugh.

"Hey what the fuck, just kill me and get it over with, no need to be even more of an asshole about it," you grumble, rubbing your scraped arm and glaring at them.

They straighten up gracefully and sheath their sword, mask cocking at you. Although the pitch of the voice is deep, everything else about them is androgynous. You decide to just stick with something neutral until you can get the topic breached...hopefully they don't kill you before that happens.

"I admit, I do enjoy playing with my food," they say in a bored voice, walking over and kicking a brick. "Would you like to engage in sexual intercourse?"

The abrupt question paired with their weirdly formal speech leaves you at a loss, just staring at them with a look of confused amusement. They stare back, tapping a gloved finger on their slender forearm. 

"I uh...well shit, you just stole all my fucking drugs so I don't know why you expect to get SEX out of me," you pout, standing up and edging close to the wall in an attempt to get a better vantage point. But they leap, landing right in front of you and reaching out to snatch at your hair, almost in curiosity.

"Your species is so oddly beautiful, I really would appreciate access to your breeding tube," they insist as you smack their invading hand away. You notice that they only have four fingers, and gape at them. 

"Wha-....what the fuck, you're a real life alien," you gasp in shock, and they sigh impatiently. 

"Yes, I am not human, excellent observation, now please answer my question," they huff, reaching out to poke and rub your bottom lip between their odd fingers. You study them, trying to come to a decision. In all honesty...you really do think they're attractive. You've got a massive mask and armor kink, all of which they fulfill. And you're dead meat anyway when Johnny finds out you lost his goods. Might as well have a good time, right?

You shrug and reach out to tap their shiny mask, smirking. "Ok, fine, but let's see what this alien....dick?.... looks like first."

Their hologram changes from a heart to a smiley face and he backs away, snatching your arm and bounding to the building office. Probably to use the desk as a nice bit of fuck furniture. They're much stronger than their build suggests, flinging you around with minimal effort.  
They toss you unceremoniously into the swivel chair, hologram morphing into a winky face as they reach down to his groin area. You sit up to get a better view, scooching the chair forward. 

They work their pants open and nothing comes out, so you lean in to squint. Smooth black skin is all you see; no dick, no other such appendages, no...flaps either. You laugh, glaring up at them.

"What the fuck, is this a joke or something??" you scoff, and their head cocks again.

"I'm not yet aroused," they say simply, reaching forward to tug at your top. "I need stimulus, human," they sigh, sounding irritated. Good to know that aliens act just as impatient as humans.

"Jesus, calm yourself, here," you sigh as you pull your shirt off, then reach behind you to undo your bra. It falls off and you reach up to toy with your nipples, offering them a 'happy now?' look.

They hums and reach down to rub the black skin; you only just now notice that there's a slit in the skin down there. They pull at the edges with their fingers as they stares at you, reaching forward to grab your right breast. The smooth fabric of the glove is cool against your hot skin, and you shudder, reaching out to join their fingers at the slit. They move closer, pushing their pelvis out for you to explore. There's a bulge in the skin now and you guess that their sex organs must be stored inside their body when they're not horny.

"Can I uh...can I stick my fingers in there or something?" you ask as a sticky liquid starts oozing out of the slit. It's slightly open now, and you can vaguely see a coiled something or other in there.

"Stick your fingers in,  
Grasp at my eager breeder,  
But please do not squeeze," they happily reply in haiku, a series of jumbled emoticons blurting across the shiny mask.

You marvel at their endless weirdness, gently sliding a finger in and gasping when something silky wraps itself around your finger. You giggle in excitement and they reach two of their fingers in to pull the edges wide open, gently wiggling until the prehensile tentacle cock slides up your arm; a warm, slippery, slightly phosphorescent liquid coating you wherever it touches. A series of glowing nodules runs down the sides, the lights rhythmically pulsing up and down the shaft.

"This is fucking awesome," you breath as four smaller tendrils uncoil to play with your fingers. A tiny moan escapes them as you pinch one gently, and a dewdrop of the liquid surges out of it onto your fingers.

"Good or bad??" you urge, wondering if you've hurt them.

"Exquisitely good," they breathe from behind the mask. The main tentacle is fatter now, growing erect as it writhes against your arm.

They reach down to untangle you from the tentacles and snatches at your hand, yanking you up and reaching down to undo your belt and pants.

"You could've just ASKED, you know," you grit out in annoyance, but they ignore you and slide the pants down your legs. They bunch around your ankles and Zer0 corrals you towards the desk, grasping at your breasts one last time before bending you over and pulling at your ass cheeks, spreading you completely open.

"Which hole is for breeding?" They ask in curiosity, poking at your asshole with an invasive finger.

"NOT that one buddy," you squeak, and they withdraw, squatting down behind you to study your pussy. They slides two of their fingers in and you clench around the invading digits, panting eagerly. They makes that small moaning noise again and stand back up, hands settling on either side of you. You kick off your shoes and finish sliding out of the pants, spreading your legs for the thin hips.

The thick main tentacle fumbles against your lips and an impatient hand reaches down to help it gain entry. You gasp sharply as the slick tip slides in easily, lubricated by both you and Zer0. It surges in and you're weirded out by the sensation of something UNDULATING inside of you. But it feels utterly amazing, and you can't help but thunk your forehead down onto the desk and moan as the smaller tendrils explore you. One of them finds your clitoris and the others join in curiosity, circling it and pushing down on the sensitive nub.

"Ohhhhh fuuuuuuck," you hitch out, grinding your hips back against them as the tentacle twists and massages your walls.

"Ahhhh....your species is much more welcoming than my partners back home," they praise, grunting slightly and letting small alien words slip as they sink into the pleasure. The sensation is amazing...but you need more in order to cum.

"Uh...do you think you could be a little rougher?" you ask, and they comply, the tentacle thickening; beginning to undulate and twist more roughly, rubbing the glowing bumps into your walls and finding your spongey G-spot, pressing down on it with determination. You wail in response and they suddenly spank your ass, jolting you with the unexpected contact. 

"Oh fuck yeah," you breathe, so Zer0 repeats it, making you wiggle against them appreciatively. 

"Mmmmm choke me please," you prompt, panting at the pleasure bombarding you and barely able to think straight. The now familiar gloved hand slides up to grasp your throat, squeezing down on the sides to cut off your bloodflow and deprive your brain of oxygen. The high hits you in seconds and you start to moan, Zer0's tentacles fucking into you with abandon, that slick phosphorescent fluid sliding down the insides of your thighs as you rock back against them.

Zer0's babbling in their own language now, moaning softly and bending down to push their body flush against yours. The fact that they don't have to thrust is new to you, and you love the closeness that it allows.

They suddenly withdraw and flip you, quickly moving back in to pull your legs up to their shoulders and push the now incredibly thick tentacle into you. They leans forward and rub the mask against your left breast, starting to make a rumbly purring noise deep in their chest. You feel an orgasm building as the tiny tendrils grind down into your clit with renewed passion, and you reach down to squeeze their helmet. 

"Oh my god....oh godddddd....I'm cumming," you sob, and they reaches back up to choke you again, clamping over your airway this time. 

The orgasm hits you hard; you buck off the desk and grab greedily at their arms, eyes rolling back in your head. Your pussy pulses around the tentacle cock and Zer0 chokes out a loud series of moans at your cunt's desperate clutch. They push up hard against you and you feel a flooding rush of warmth as cum releases, splattering to the floor messily. They're keening now, beating the desk with their fist and sagging against you. The tentacle writhes madly, spurring you into another incredible orgasm. 

As your orgasms end, Zer0 keeps nuzzling against your breasts, tentacle remaining inside of you, twitching gently as you feel its girth lessening. They eventually pull away with a long, satiated sigh, letting you lie back on the desk as they work the tentacles back into their genital pouch. You sit up and smile at them, glancing down at their soaked pants.

"You make a biiiiit more of a mess than humans," you giggle teasingly, and the hologram displays its cute little heart again. You find a spare jacket to clean yourself off with, pulling your clothes back on as they intently watch you from the sidelines.

"So...what now?" you ask, staring at the sword, relief flooding you when they sheath it.

"I assume your employer will terminate your existence because of my intrusion. I believe mine has some openings, if you have any interest."

Your eyebrows shoot up at the generous offer, and you can't respond fast enough.

"Oh, fuck, yes please, I'd rather not get my brains blown out," you splutter, and Zer0 nods, beckoning for you to follow them. They hop over the broken wall's ledge and you scramble over it, trying to keep up with their graceful, fluid pace.

Zer0 walks you up to a nearby ship and a woman's head pops out, an annoyed glare taking in your profile as you follow them in closely. 

"What the FUCK took you so long Zer0??" she hisses, smacking them in the back of his head. 

"I was...searching for recruits," they lie, and the winky face returns as the woman whirls around and sits at the control board, muttering darkly to herself about their suspiciously stained pants. You grin back at Zer0's friendly emoticon, strapping yourself in as excitement blooms in your gut.

As the ship shudders through the planet's atmosphere, you desperately hope that you'll get to "work" with them often...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr and Twitter: Maedhros36  
> I hope you enjoyed <333


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zer0 calls on you for help with a "mission", but it's rather different from what you expected. Now with much more shitty half-assed haiku!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read/don't want to read the first chap, basically all that happened is that Zer0 found you in a compound that he'd raided and straightforwardly suggested sex because he thought that you were hot. He then hired you to work for his own employer, Moxxi.
> 
> ALSOOOOOO:
> 
> This has undergone renovations to include they/them pronouns for Zer0.
> 
> I originally used he/him because I wrote the first part a while ago and was still getting familiar with the fandom. I just slapped he on there because I was going off of the game itself and what the characters refer to Zer0 as.
> 
> But.
> 
> I have only just discovered that apparently Gearbox tweeted confirmation years ago that Zer0 is nb and uses they/them, although they haven't reflected that in the games. And I liked that Zer0 may not adhere to a certain gender identity so I changed some stuff around.

"YOU! Newbie! Get your sorry ass over here and make it SNAPPY!"

"Yes ma'am!!" you gasp, scrambling up and away from your workbench, catching a vial of the drug cocktail before it can shatter on the floor and waste $1,000 worth of profit. 

The person who'd addressed you oh SO kindly, your floor manager Gina, is a gruff woman of around forty or fifty, riddled with scars and suffering from a nasty cough brought on by alien fauna spore exposure. Everyone expects her to drop dead at any given moment, but unfortunately for you her grip on life is rather tenacious. 

"Holy HELL, why he ever requested a clutz like you is BEYOND me, if he finally gets an arm shot off he ain't got nobody to blame but his own sorry self," she grumbles, hacking up phlegm every few words and impatiently crossing her arms as you scurry across the room.

"He?" you inquire, struggling to match her punishing pace as she whirls and marches back down the busy hallway. But she offers no explanation, simply coughing as an answer and taking you to the main elevator. 

You tense while she sizes you up on the long ride down, squinting at your less-than-impressive physique as you track the slow descent. The elevator is rickety at best, shuddering every time you stop for someone to board or step off. Level 30...25...20.............and at long last, 1.

"Isn't this where your Vault Hunters stay?" you breathe, heart thudding as you finally realize just who must've summoned you.

She nods and steps off, giving you a wheeze of annoyance when you freeze, gaping at the lavish (by Pandoran standards) decor of the high-ceilinged basement.

"Eh, Vault Hunter SINGULAR yeah, the other one got offed yesterday, but don't even THINK about touching anything, everything down here is worth more than fifty million of your measly carcasses," she hisses, grabbing your forearm in a vice grip and yanking you forward, slinging you out in front of her. "Keep walking and turn left at the third door, he should be there, I'm too busy to babysit."

And with that, she's back in the elevator, leaving you alone in the seemingly empty living quarters. The shifty, eerie, inadequate lighting is creeping you out so you keep your sight set forward, scurrying along and glancing up when a mining explosion shakes the ground; dust trickling down onto your head and shoulders. Finally, you're standing in front of the simple looking door, reaching out to give it a tentative knock.

"Hello?" you call.

"Ah, a visitor  
My new assistant perhaps?  
Please do come inside," the familiar voice calls, sounding slightly different from before.

Pained, maybe?

"Um...Gina said that you wanted me for a mission or something?" you return, giddy with the excitement of being able to see them again after your...rather unconventional interview. 

You turn the handle and walk inside, not sure what you're expecting, but Zer0 curled up on a square pillow in the middle of the floor definitely isn't it. They slightly uncurl to get a better look at you; even now they're still wearing the bodysuit and helmet, their usual heart emoticon floating inches above the visor.

"...are you ok?" 

"I am in pain, yes  
But not unbearably so  
Please have a seat here," they offer, giving you a smiley symbol next and gesturing to a small one-person dinner table to their left. You obey, pausing when the thin form jolts, knees jerking up as a small grunt escapes them. But they say nothing else, so you sit. You take the silence as a chance to study your surroundings, appreciating the minimalist decor yet also the abundance of squishy furniture and couch pillows.

"You must wonder why you are here," Zer0 finally sighs, visor going blank and head turning so they can see your face as you speak.

"Well...yeah, I mean, I'm not exactly hunter material," you whisper, genuinely worried for their health now. You remember with a jolt that Gina had mentioned the other Hunter dying. "Is it...emotional pain?"

"No, ovulation  
Human medicine  
Does not work on me," they explain, and you nod, taking the chance to learn a little bit more about this strange assassin.

"If you don't mind me asking, what ARE you? I don't know anything about alien gender," you begin, sliding off the chair to settle yourself next to them.

"Well...in human terms  
I am both male and female  
I endure cycles," they say, sounding strained, flopping over onto their side and finally pushing themselves up.  
"But I do not care  
What I am called unless  
You call me a ho."

They abruptly stand, slightly bent and seeming as if they can't fully extend their abdomen, crossing their arms over their middle and settling down on a marshmallow colored couch, kneading a soft pillow as if it's some sort of stress relief. 

"Do you...need me to do anything? Any foods? A hot water bottle?"

"I called you here  
To ask if you are willing  
To breed one more time/  
The hunter always  
Helped, but she is dead now  
She was a mean cunt," they snort, wiggling onto their back. You stare, noticing a telltale bulge above their crotch, wondering just what lies up their tentacles this time.

"I'd love that, holy shit you have NO idea, you're the best fuck I've ever had!" you gush, hopping up off the ground to bounce down onto the couch next to them. "But uh...are you gonna wear your suit again?"

"Is that a problem?" they muse, wasting no time and reaching down to work at their pants, slipping them down their hips this time instead of just enough to bare the slit.

Zer0's iliac crest is extremely pronounced, pelvic bones pushing much farther forward than a human's. The same glowing nodules that had lined their thickest tendril also run down the sides of their hips, casting a soft milky light into the barely lit room. The contrast against their onyx skin is gorgeous to say the least; your curiosity over what the rest of them looks like is piqued even more than it was that first time. Their genital slit appears swollen, covered in that phosphorescent fluid from before and already allowing the four secondary tendrils to escape, curling against their overheated skin in search of stimulation.

Interrupting your staring, Zer0 sits up and pushes the pants of the suit even further down to reveal half humanoid knees. They open a hidden couch drawer to withdraw a mid-sized dildo and a unique looking harness.

"So you have a uh...a cavity for penetration then?" you breathe, reaching out and taking the soft toy when they hand it to you. 

"There is emptiness  
When my ovipositor descends  
That is sensitive," they grunt, pushing their hips out and hooking the harness loops over their slender legs, wiggling until it's finally in place. Unfortunately the stretch has caused the largest tentacle to push past their folds and unfurl, spilling slickness all over the couch and eliciting an annoyed whine. They scramble and pull a blanket off the back of the couch, settling on top of it in an attempt to save the furniture from becoming TOO drenched.

"If your hands are clean  
Please come closer and begin  
I am ready now," they moan, reaching down to play with the longest tentacle, rolling it between their fingers as it fattens and oozes even more of the familiar silky lubricant. 

"No problem," you breathe, hastily wiggling out of your own clothes and crawling to their side, reaching out as they releases the tentacle and push their hips up against your hand. You pause, not quite sure what to do.

"Finger it," Zer0 urges, sounding strained as if they might throttle you if you don't offer them relief THIS VERY INSTANT.

So you slip a finger inside, reveling in the silkiness and warmth; breath hitching when they grab your forearm and shove you even deeper, all the way up to the third knuckle. 

And then you feel it.

Resistance, a squishy convex something or other that seems to push against your finger as you rub it. Zer0's grip tightens and they wheeze, legs spreading even further as you wiggle your finger harder.

"Keep going!!" they gasp, head lolling backwards to rest against the back of the couch as you finger the slit with a vengeance. All five of the prehensile tentacles are wrapped around your arm now, the largest of which is detaching itself to flop across your thigh and nuzzle down between your legs in curiosity.

All of a sudden, Zer0 yanks at your arm and pulls you out, reaching down to hold the slit wide open with two fingers of each gloved hand. Zer0 pants; you stare.

And then it appears, pushing out of its own accord, a pearlescent mottled lavender sheen covering the lumpy surface. Zer0 grasps it and gently pulls, tugging until all seven or so inches are standing tall, erect and rigid like a penis yet still able to move itself. It pulses and fluid streams out of the tip, which is tapered and entirely un-human.

"Holy SHIT," you praise, reaching out to rub the tip when they grab for your hand.

"Suck it," Zer0 pleads, digitized voice trembling as their most sensitive organ is fondled and rubbed.

You lean down and lick it, tasting the salty and slightly metallic fluid with eager curiosity. Then a hand is behind your neck and they're pushing, giving you an angry whine until you glare at them and they flop, pouting like a toddler. Apparently they still haven't learned how to be any more patient than before. But you take them into your mouth anyway, sliding your hand up and down the squishy hardness as it twitches and drools more salt out into your throat. Zer0 reaches around you to grab the squishy dildo and slowly push it up inside the now empty cavity, asking you to hold the wiggling tentacles out of the way as they do so. Then they attach the harness to keep the toy in place, moaning with every breath and grinding down as you suckle the ovipositor's head.

You let your eyes slide closed and suddenly you're pulled off and shoved, tumbling onto your back as Zer0 leaps up and over you, pinning you down with a hiss.

"My turn," they practically purr, shuffling up between your legs and shoving a pillow under your ass to being your hips up to theirs. You consent and bite your lip; the ovipositor is quite huge as far as girth goes, and it's been a while since you've taken something quite that thick. But Zer0 considerately starts out slow, letting the tentacles slip into your entrance just like last time. The main tentacle stretches you and fills you with the copious self-lubricant as Zer0 groans, arching over you and settling their knees on either side of the pillow.

"The other hunter  
Never let me deposit  
My egg inside her," they gasp, finally withdrawing and reaching down to steady themselves at your entrance, desperate to complete this ovulation and get rid of the egg that's apparently been paining them.

"Egg?" is all you can manage, eyes wide as Zer0 pushes into you, hips stuttering and finally jolting to slam them all the way home. 

"FUCK!" they scream, uncharacteristically (for the short time you've known them, anyway) swearing as the overwhelming pleasure floods their senses. You join them in the cursing, eyes watering at the harsh sting. But then they're moving and the glowing slickness is coating you, easing Zer0's desperate thrusts when they begin to fuck you across the couch, angled hips battering you into submission. You miss the soft squishy feel of their tentacle from last time, as well as the intimacy that came with the fact that they didn't have to thrust, instead letting the tentacle make the movements for them.

Not that you're complaining.

Your groans and screams are matching theirs now, which is saying something because they're REALLY belting it out. Half in English and half in their mother language. Your head is hanging off the edge of the bed now; you let your arms hang off to hold you up while Zer0 wraps their arms around your waist to keep you on the couch.

"So tight, so perfect, so pretty," they wheeze, hips finally slowing the onslaught. They gasp then throw their head back; you feel a gush of fluid fill you and spill out around the 'cock'. Then they start to tremble, pushing themselves inside as far as they can.

"The egg is coming  
Do you want it inside you  
I do not care which," Zer0 sobs, head resting on your belly in exhaustion. 

"I'll take it," you volunteer, slightly scared but also intrigued. They know what they're doing, it can't be dangerous. 

"Thank you," they whisper, and you see the muscles in their legs tighten, as well as those in their abdomen. They grunt; the base of the ovipositor swells. You can feel it stretching you, almost to the point of stinging discomfort but not quite. It feels quite a bit smaller than the diameter of the appendage buried deep inside you, which helps allay your worries. 

"I have always wanted to lay my egg in a partner," they ACTUALLY purr this time, nuzzling against your belly again and rubbing their visor against you, heart emoticon returning as they finally starts to come back to their wits. 

Zer0 grunts again and now it's halfway down the shaft, drawing a pained whine from them. Their fingers dig into your hips and squeeze hard enough to leave bruises, but you don't care. Watching them is utterly mesmerizing; the noises they make are just so utterly sexual. They begin to thrust again, tentacles rubbing along your external sweet spots, finally igniting your orgasm before the egg is deposited. Arching, you gasp their name, bucking and crying out as you finally feel something give.

The egg is buried deep inside you now.

Zer0 collapses, flopping like a limp noodle and sliding off of you to lie on the floor in a state of utter satiation. You blink and marvel at the filled feeling, reaching down to feel your opening, as if you might be entirely different down there now. 

"Now, sit up, squat  
The egg is heavy and slick  
It will fall right out," they encourage, holding themselves up to watch as you comply. You squat, feeling the egg slipping down to push at your opening and finally force it open with its weight, falling out and dropping to the couch. Zer0 takes it and wraps it in the blanket for now, climbing back up onto the couch to snuggle against your sweaty, overexerted form.

"Will it hatch?"

"No, I have no mate  
I will dispose of it soon  
Or...omelettes?" they joke, shrugging when you give them a look of horror. 

"You are one weird...creature," you grumble, pulling the blanket over to hold the egg and study the pristine surface.

"Would you like to be  
My new mating assistant  
Along with sorting?" Zer0 abruptly asks, emotionless mask staring up at you as you decide. What emotion is that face trying to convey right now beneath the ever-present shield?

"Of course," you agree, barely containing your excitement. You settle in next to them as they hand you a remote to the massive holotv and curl up, sleepily pulling the inverted strap off and dropping it on the floor, ready to sleep after such an exhausting ordeal.

This is by far the best job you've EVER had.


End file.
